To save mileage, park it. You got a Hemi son, use it.
[Found on a Dodge forum, shortly after I bought my Ram 2500 Hemi!]
    — Vader

A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
[The first known exposition of the fallacy fallacy]
    — St. Augustine

His power lies apparently in his ability to choose incompetent enemies.
    — Crow, from MST

I guess one person can make a difference. But most of the time, they probably shouldn't.
    — Marge Simpson

Knowledge is of two kinds: there is knowing a thing, and there is knowing where we may find information upon it.
    — Samuel Johnson

I keep a "hate mail" folder of the real gems, to review when my opinion of the human race looks to be in danger of rising above 0 degrees.
    — John Derbyshire

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
    — Benjamin Franklin

When I hear another express an opinion which is not mine, I say to myself, he has a right to his opinion, as I to mine; why should I question it? His error does me no injury, and shall I become a Don Quixote, to bring all men by force of argument to one opinion?
    — Thomas Jefferson

The "of course, while I have no problem with this at all, it's surely too much for a lesser being" flavor of argument always rings hollow to me.
    — Tim Peters

I have long since given up dealing with people who hold idiotic opinions as if they had arrived at them through thinking about them.
    — Erik Naggum (comp.lang.lisp)

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
    — RFC 1925

I never understood people who don't have bookshelves.
    — George Plimpton

All bad jazz sounds like Woody Woodpecker.
    — Leo Kottke

Good judgment is the result of experience ... Experience is the result of bad judgment.
    — Fred Brooks

I'm not young enough to know everything.
    — Robert Benchley

Get your facts first, and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.
    — Samuel Clemens

No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up.
    — Nora Ephron

There's no sense being exact about something if you don't even know what you're talking about.
    — John von Nuemann

You owe The Oracle a TV with an 'intelligence' control - I've tried 'brightness' but that didn't work.
    — Internet Oracularity #1192-01